A fresh start

Created on #feels

Lately I’ve been thinking about what life felt like as a young developer. I remember the excitement that came with learning new technologies, having great ideas and feeling like anything was possible. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. My naivete was an asset. I might have given up if I had known the challenges ahead.

In that spirit, I remember wanting to start writing out of an urge to share ideas and get recognition in the community. And while that was’t necessarily a bad thing, I thought it would be easy to use that as the motivation for writing.

Since that time, I’ve started a family and worked for some pretty great companies doing great stuff. I have aged mentally and physically, started a family and grown more active with my local friends and community. Much of my time and energy is devoted to life outside of my career.

As a result, the endless well of motivation and energy I once had has waned somewhat. In many ways, I feel like this is the natural progression of being a professional in any field. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough. Call it imposter syndrome if you’d like.

I feel like I’ve lost some perspective. Maybe you have too.

The impossible standard

As technology workers, we live in the digital realm. We follow the work of the best in our field. One-on-one interactions are seldom, most likely on Twitter, if at all. Our remote coworkers feel distant. Many times, we probably don’t get the professional interaction we need to maintain a healthy outlook and perspective on our careers.

Over time, an inbalance forms. We feed on the bleeding edge of what is happening in technology and who is accomplishing it, but fail to document how far we’ve come personally or what we’ve learned. Thus, our minds are prone to forget just how far we have come, subconsciously creating an impossible standard for us to live up to. It’s an unsustainable cycle that leads to a slow burnout.

Finding your own way

In processing all of this, I came to a realization that I wish I had discovered earlier, that forming an identity based other people’s opinions of yourself or your accomplishments is an empty path that leads to pain and heartache. Personally speaking, I decided that the goal of work shouldn’t be to prove one’s self to others, but to genuinely enjoy creating great stuff, have fun and simply to document the path with lessons learned along the way.

In that vein, I hope to start fresh with no expectation of what the site should be or why it should exist, but simply as an outlet of expression for myself.

If others can learn from it, then all the better.